He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
