So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
