Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
