My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
