he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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