Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
