I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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