Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They took my balls.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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