i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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