Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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