what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
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