why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
