I've blown a few things in my day
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
