you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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