Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
