carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
