i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am never drinking with the goths again.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
