So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
