What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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