Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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