Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
