i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
