I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
