Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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