our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
