He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
