just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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