does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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