I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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