Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
