Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
