Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
