he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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