I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
