Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
