I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
