FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
