Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
