I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
