is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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