it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize