This girl is more easily done than said...
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
