Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sext me about skeletons
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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