this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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