I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
