im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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