either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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