I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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