Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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