it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
