Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
